Friday, February 03, 2006

Home Gyms

Decided to buy a home gym.

The choices are excruciating. How will I decide?

I kind of like the Total Gym. I used to have one when they first came out and I have to admit...I did like it. I used it pretty regularly, which for me, is quite an accomplishment.

Then again...I like the idea of weights. Everything I've read about the TG says it's a good piece of equipment, but not that great for body sculpting....plus I don't think C (hubby) will use it.

On Extreme Makeover Michael Thurmond always makes them lift weights. For whatever reason, it seems to work. Gee....I wish I could get an extreme makeover.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Nail Envy?

You bet your ass you'll have nail envy!

I've tried fake nails...they suck. They feel weird, they look too thick, they're expensive. But, they are also OH so sexy.

I want sexy nails.

I've found the secret. Nail Envy...really, that's what it's called.

It's a product by OPI (a little on the pricey side, but well worth every cent) It's a clear polish that goes on before your nail polish and for the first time in my life I have AWESOME looking natural nails. (No, I don't work for OPI) By the way, is it pronounced "opey" like the kid on Andy Griffith or is it O-P-I? I don't know, so I just avoid saying it to minimize looking like a dumb ass.

Anyway, in about two weeks my nails grew out really nicely. This has never happened with any of the drugstore crap. I think I own enough crappy Sally Hansen nail products to fill the ocean. They are all pure crap. Don't waste your money. Orly is no better. I have learned the hard way. If you want good nail products, you have to spend the money. Sorry, but it's true. There are many (we'll talk about them some time) short cuts in other products......not for your nails.

Also, invest in a good cuticle pusher.....salon quality, metal. I never quite understood the whole cuticle pusher thing (or anything else about fingernails) so I took the manicurist licensing class at my local community college. (Hey I take this stuff seriously) The most important thing I learned is that nails look longer, healthier, and grow faster if you regularly push back your cuticles.

Sorry, but I have to push another OPI product....you absolutely cannot live with out their Avoplex Exfoliating Cuticle Treatment. You put it on your cuticles, wait three minutes, then push them back....this is great for ugly winter toes!!!

Everyone got it?....Nail Envy. Perhaps I will do a post with complete manicure instructions in the future...but for now...if you've got questions, I've got answers!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Calorie Report

Todays total............750 calories!

That's the good news...the bad news is...

I didn't work out.

What's a MILF?

What's a MILF?

I knew someone would ask.

MILF is an acronym that stands for "Mother I'd Like to F@&k." What it means is an entirely different story.

I know, I know...it sounds...well...vulgar. So it is. But it means so much more. It means that getting older doesn't mean the end. For me...it means the beginning.

I was never a prom queen. I didn't make the cheerleading squad. In High School all the guys I had crushes on treated me like a little sister, or worse, a best friend. I didn't turn heads in my 20's. I was boring...plain.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't necessarily ugly. I was just unremarkable.

Then I got married and had two kids. I added a few pounds here and there. (45 to be exact) I got a typical "mom" haircut and wore typical "mom" clothes.

I woke up one day and looked in the mirror....

my mother looked back at me.

It was terrifying.

So here I am...at the beginning of a journey...a thirties something Mom who plans to transform from blah to breathtaking.

Every "middle aged" woman I know that has made such a transformation has only done it as a result of the "divorce diet". (You know her....she may even be you. She's the one that let's her self go, quits wearing makeup, starts wearing denim jumpers and sparkly snowman sweaters, gains 50 pounds, and THEN voila! - a divorce- She drops 50 pounds and looks like a supermodel in less than 6 months.)

Well, I like my husband and I don't plan on getting a divorce anytime soon. I'm going to transform from blah to breathtaking AND stay married! Hope you'll join me!